Our Cat with PTSD

~ Ellie

We love kitties! But – so far – this one doesn’t seem to love us back.

Mocha (formerly “Cappuccino”)

This is the picture of the rescue cat I fell in love with. Isn’t he adorable, that sweet expression, with his head cocked to the side? I decided that my husband John and I would try to have him join us in our humble abode. So I contacted the shelter, the Animal Rescue Network, here in Montreal, about adopting him. Soon I was in touch with one of their wonderful volunteers, Delphine.

First I will share what the shelter wrote in his “bio” on social media:

Cappuccino came to the Animal Rescue Network in December 2023 after being found as a stray in Laval. He was born on the street and his mother took good care of him and his three brothers until they were weaned. The cats were then cared for by a kind local person. They were very shy, but got used to their guardian angel over time. Unfortunately, Cappuccino was afraid of some stray cats who were taking up a lot of space in the neighbourhood. He quickly showed his guardian that he had a lot of potential for adoption, which is why he came to our shelter. He found his arrival a little difficult and was very stressed, but now he’s ready to find his adoptive family. He requires a lot of gentleness, but when approached gently he willingly lets himself be stroked! He also loves to play with us, which has helped his socialization. He often lies close to other cats, so he’d fit in well in a house with other calm/timid cats. Otherwise, he would make a good single cat for a family willing to give him the time and attention he needs. Given his softer personality, Cappuccino would do best in a family without children. He’s also greedy, and that’s how you’ll be able to seduce him! Cappuccino was adopted in June 2024 by a family who decided to bring him back in 2025 as they didn’t like his shy personality. Help us find him a REAL forever family!

Well! I was very indignant when I read that the previous adoption fell through because of his “shy personality.” We would never do that – return him, like a suit that doesn’t fit! He’ll warm up to us… won’t he??

So we brought home this scared little three-year-old boy on November 30th. We were advised to keep him in one room along with his food, water, and litter box until he felt more settled, perhaps anywhere up to a month, and then we could open the door. And timid he was! Here’s a bit of how he looked…

We changed his name to Mocha, as it’s easier and shorter to say when talking to him. Mocha was very frightened here at first, as you can imagine, with that background he had. Most of his time in our home office he hid under a desk, way in a corner, where we couldn’t reach him and he felt safe, all the while staring out at us, if one of us was in the room.

Eventually he discovered the window sill and loved it… as well as the top tier of the cat tree; he alternates between these two spots. He never seems to spend any time down on the floor – except to eat (when he’s sure we aren’t “lurking” nearby). He will not be lured into playing with toys. We never see him doing usual cat things like grooming, never have heard him meow, or purr. Here he is on his favourite perches.

Mocha in cat tree

We opened the office door after one week, so he could explore the rest of our small apartment if he felt safe enough. He never leaves the room while we are up and about – but we think he dares to come out at night when we’re sleeping; he has left tell-tale tufts of his fur here and there!

But we wish we could somehow help him understand that we are not dangerous. Whenever I “visit” him in “his” room, I speak in a very soft, calm tone, as I feed him a Creamy treat; sometimes I slowly extend my other hand to gently touch his flank – I can barely get away with that because he’s distracted by the treat; but if I try to touch him otherwise, he shrinks back as if I’m a snake. Once he hissed at me, and he hissed and tried to slash John for coming too close. 😥 I can only imagine that poor Mocha must’ve been awfully abused by humans in his earliest years.

From what I’ve read online about traumatized kitties, it seems to take endless amounts of patience and persistence, in establishing trust. I wish we could speed things up just a tad. Maybe it’s not possible? Will he ever learn to trust us? This is what we’re going to be asking the feline behaviour consultant that the shelter is connecting us with. They provide a video consultation with her during the first month after adoption. (I’ve been in constant touch with Delphine, the volunteer, and she is arranging the consult.)

Meanwhile, if any of you fellow cat lovers understand this situation and have any ideas to offer us, please feel free to suggest them! We’d really appreciate it, and we promise to post timely updates in this blog. Thank you so much! MEOW!

Mocha (formerly Cappuccino), looking relaxed when living at the shelter.

14 thoughts on “Our Cat with PTSD”

  2. I don’t really have any advice, but do want to hear how it progresses. I adopted a feral cat once and she did come around. This was a long time ago, so I don’t remember how long it took. She never liked other people except she immediately jumped in my brother’s lap when he came to visit. I was astonished! I lost her when another cat moved in (with his man) and that cat bullied her. I saw her once days later, but I had a house full of people and couldn’t coax her out from under the deck. Never saw her again. 😥

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Aw, that’s so sad that you lost your kitty after she settled in so nicely with you! It’s almost like losing a child, I know. 😢 Have you ever adopted another cat since that time?

      Btw that’s interesting how she was attracted to your brother! I wonder what his magic quality was!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  3. Mocha is so cute! I don’t really know anything about cats. But I’m guessing that maybe he has had so much turmoil in his past it will take him some time to adjust. I’ll ask friends of mine who have taken in 13 stray cats and let you know what works for them.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  4. Hi, said with love. I sent a longer reply on the Comment section in your blog, but I think that once more I have demonstrated my lack of intuitive understanding of directions. I think the message didn’t send.

    The main point I wanted to make was about two kittens we took into our home as they were otherwise going to be back yard ferral cats. For the first week, we didn’t see them – once they had escaped to the basement where there were many hiding spots. Then they would come to the top step,lured by their bowls of food, if anyone was in the kitchen which the stairs opened onto. ANd if we left the room, we could watch them eating, from a distance, before they disappeared again down the stairs. After another few weeks, they would eat while we were in the kitchen. Then one day, one of them stayed upstairs, and let us approach her. It all took a while, but they became very affectionate cats. One is my favourite of all our many cats over the years. Hang in with your kitty. Persist. Keep the distance until she tells you to come closer. She will end up being a real buddy to you and John.

    Love to you. We’ve just concluded our fourth full day in The Glen Hospital, waiting with Dave for his next scan or ultrasound and then waiting up to 3-4 four hours for him to return. He’s hardly eating, not hungry, and looking forward to coming home which might be tomorrow afternoon, or Monday. No treatment plan yet. There is inflammation around the tumour in his head and once that’s receded, in two or three weeks, they can try treatments for the tumour. They just taken a biopsy from the kidney, and haven’t studied it all yet, so that may require a few more nights in hospital. That too is a tumour. This was our brief meeting with an oncologist who handled all the testing. Now there will be another specialist who takes over with the treatment.

    Wonderful to share life with a friend – when troubles come in batches, we can have lots of genuine sympathy for what the other is going through. Hang in, girl. Me too! Love, Rosemary

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  5. Ellie, as you know, I’ve had shy/traumatised kitty experience. In my life I have been blessed to socialise three feline companions from feral or semi-feral states: Iris, Columbus, and Theodore. Columbus lived under the bed for quite some time, only coming out in my absence, shredding my hand if I tried to feed him treats under there. Iris yowled like a banshee all night every night for weeks. And Theodore was simply unapproachable, outdoors and wild. All three became total lovers. They all took a year to warm up, and then more years to REALLY become lovebugs. Cats crave stability. Each rehoming for Mocha represents a setback and another reason not to trust. Love and trust will win the day, though, if your love and patience are stubborn enough! He will come around …. and he will love it.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Omg this gives me so much hope, thank you Sara!! Shredding only took place here once when John attempted to pet him, apparently before he was ready! Heh, for sure he wasn’t; that was a couple of weeks ago! Thank goodness he isn’t into yowling at all; he is super quiet! Still never heard him meow. Well for sure I now think he will melt eventually. Thanks for painting a bright future for us! 😸😻
      P.S. – Just ordered catnip and a laser pointer! Let the games begin! MOL!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  6. Hi Ellie, my friend Gerri Woods sent me your post because she knows I’m a cat person. We also have a couple of very skittish cats. They are becoming more comfortable, but then they’ll all of a sudden jump and run. It’s not a straight line, but the affection will come in fits and starts. Just the fact that Mocha hangs out in the cat tree and window and doesn’t hide all the time is a good sign, as is the fact that he’ll take treats from you. Our girls weren’t even interested in treats when they first came home with us. Don’t give up on that cutie; it’ll take lots of time and patience, but it will be worth it.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Hi, fellow cat person! Yes, I can understand the fits-and-starts thing. He’s even exploring our whole apartment now – but only at night when we’re safely stowed away, sleeping! 😅🙄 I see it’s gonna be a long haul. Thanks for the encouragement though!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

Leave a comment