I just read about the opening of a local exhibit featuring Mattel’s new Barbies.

Yes! Hot off the production line, comes a new bunch of  “more curvy [sic] dolls that now have a wider range of skin and eye tones.” You’ll be able to buy a slightly shorter Barbie, a slightly wider Barbie, a slightly taller Barbie, and a slightly flatter Barbie – not to mention the new variety of skin “tones.” (“Colour” is a bad word, apparently.)

That is fine and dandy, I suppose, although they still have outlandish hair, features, and pointed toes… but maybe that’s just me, disgruntled that my doll-crazy days of old are over. Full disclosure: Those days were over a few years before Barbie even hit the market in 1959, so I’ve always been eternally envious of little girls born after me.

But here’s the thing. The article announcing the multi-coloured, multi-shaped Barbies continued, “Rumour has it that Ken may undergo a similar transformation in the not-too-distant future.” Well now. I guess they’d better hurry! We certainly can’t have white Ken dating any other shades of Barbie, can we?! Get those brown and yellow Kens out here, pronto!

And while you’re at it, make some with blue hair to match his sweetheart-to-be.

Happy Valentine’s Day!