I have a strong anti-spanking bias. I formed it based on my own experiences as a child who was occasionally spanked, but it was really honed during my years as a family-support worker, when I used to make home visits to troubled families. Here in a nutshell are my three reasons for NOT spanking our kids.
- The madder you get, you can only hit harder. Where does this lead? And where does it end?
- You’re teaching that “might makes right” – that violence against those weaker than you is okay. Is this the message you want to get across?
- It doesn’t work! Kids tend to remember the spanking, sure – but not the infraction. Not to mention, how does this teach or model correct behaviour? It doesn’t.
My belief is that spanking is assault. It is a form of child abuse. There are much better ways to teach children right and wrong.
Crossed Eyes and Dotted Tees 
I agree, Ellie. How can we expect kids to “use their words” if the parents don’t?
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Exactly! It’s incredible how much we parents underestimate our effect as role models. “Do as I say, not as I do?” Not so good.
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Time outs were effective in our household. I wish more parents used that method instead of yelling at their children in public.
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Yes, that’s worked well for many of us! We need to stay calm to use such methods… but don’t kids know how to push our ‘buttons’?! It sure isn’t easy…
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I agree that spanking is a perverse way to discipline children. And I agree with Anne that public humiliation is just as bad as the physical assault on helpless children. What is the correct protocol when witnessing this; intervene or stand by and allow it to happen?
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Well there’s no ‘protocol,’ really. I think it’s how far you’re willing to stick your neck out. And how much good would it really do anyway. And how severe is the mistreatment you’re witnessing. And how bad would you feel after if you *didn’t* intervene in some way. And sometimes while you’re debating all this in your mind, the moment passes and you’re spared having to do anything. This time. (Been there, done that. Sigh.)
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Well, I think quite a lot of countries in the world now agree with you. An article in Time magazine published last year said corporal punishment is now banned in 43 countries around the world.
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I know – as it should be!
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