(YES I’m early!) I don’t know about you, but the Grammar Cop has lately been noticing a drastic increase in wrong-wordism. (Look, I’m sure there’s an actual term for that, but this G.C. never claimed to have a PhD in Pedantics.)

I think this is an offshoot of the lower literacy levels found in the media, in general, these days. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that schools stopped teaching the “3 Rs” as rigorously as they used to back in the day. In any case, here are the latest boo-boos:

1. This is from Canada’s NATIONAL POST no less. In an article about medical emergencies in highrises, a paramedic was discussing how, when a stretcher doesn’t fit in a too-small elevator, you are then “regulated to the stairs.” I would like to relegate such errors to the dustbin.
2. From a caption on LIVETENNIS.COM (a British website): “Former golden girl and 2014 Australian Open semifinalist Eugenie Bouchard could be on her way back up after her torrid 2015 season, but is she ready to challenge Agnieszka Radwanska as the fourth seed targets the second round in Melbourne?”  Ah… no. The hapless Bouchard decidedly did not have a “torrid” season – but she certainly had a horrid one. Yes I know – you think it could have been a typo. But it’s not, because further down in the article itself, we find: “…But it wasn’t long before Bouchard’s form completely collapsed and she endured a torrid slide down the rankings…”  So… is this a quirky Australian use of the word? Or perhaps the writer is confusing Bouchard’s poor level of play with her sexy “torrid” good looks? Who knows. Meanwhile the Grammar Cop is citing this as an infraction.
3. I am closing with another all-too-common eyesore, seen in an ad (or as the illiterates say, “add”) in THE SUBURBAN weekly: “Join us February 13th at 8:30 PM for a Valentine’s Soiree – Dancing, D.J. plus Comedy at it’s best.”

No proofreader of course. Altogether now, say it with me: ARGHHHHH!!!