Laughter: The Universal Language – #31

Some of us are getting older. Well okay, all of us. Here are a few entertaining thoughts on the subject. 🙂

• Someday we old folks will use cursive writing as a secret code.

• 105-year-old woman’s secrets to good health:
“For better digestion, I drink beer. In the case of appetite loss, I drink white wine. In the case of low blood pressure, I drink red wine. In the case of high blood pressure, I drink scotch. And when I have a cold, I drink schnapps.”
“When do you drink water?”
“I’ve never been that sick.”

• Annoyed-looking cat: “Crap, the old lady fell and she can’t get up.
Who’s gonna feed me now?”

• Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying you.

• When I was a kid, I wanted to be older.
This shit is not what I expected.

• Think Old and you’ll be Old.
Think Young, and you’ll be a delusional old fart!

• If things get better with age then I must be getting close to
freakin’ magnificent!

• My parents had a TV like this:

1950s TV set
Photo (cc) by Anthony Dean

…I remember, because I was the remote.

• You know you’re old when an “all-nighter” means not getting up to use the bathroom.

• If you haven’t grown up by age 50,
you don’t have to.

• I’ve reached that age where my brain goes from “You probably shouldn’t say that” to “What the hell, let’s see what happens.”

• I remember being able to get up without making sound effects…
Good times.

• I hate it when I see an old person and then realize that we went to high school together.

• The idea is to die young… as late as possible.

8 thoughts on “Laughter: The Universal Language – #31

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