I know you’ll enjoy today’s little gems! 😃

Signs on Church Property

• “No God: No Peace. Know God: Know Peace.”
• “Free Trip to Heaven. Details Inside”
• “Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins.”
• “Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here”
• An ad for St. Joseph’s Episcopal Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, “For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets.”
• When the restaurant next to the Lutheran Church put out a big sign with red letters that said, “Open Sundays,” the church reciprocated with its own message: “We are open on Sundays, too.”
• “Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons – come hear one.”
• A singing group called “The Resurrection” was scheduled to sing at a church. When a big snowstorm postponed the performance, the pastor fixed the outside sign to read, “The Resurrection is postponed.”
• “People are like tea bags – you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are.”
• “God so loved the world that He did not send a committee.”
• “Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush.”
• “When down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out all right.”
• “Sign broken. Message inside this Sunday.”
• “Fight truth decay – study the Bible daily.”
• “Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives.”
• “Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world.”
• “It is unlikely there’ll be a reduction in the wages of sin.”
• “Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church.”
• “If you’re headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.”
• “Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon.”
• “This is a ch_ ch. What is missing? U R!”
• “Forbidden fruit creates many jams.”
• “In the dark? Follow the Son.”