Laughter: The Universal Language – #41

~ Ellie

Short ‘n’ sweet… ‘n’ silly! 😀

Short Zingers*

  • My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were $70. Forget it, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
  • I was at an ATM yesterday. A little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.
  • Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs are not Happy.
  • My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30 a m. Can you believe that…2:30 a m? Lucky for him I was still up practicing my bagpipes.
  • I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow.
    I said, “You’re obviously not listening.”
  • My wife was counting all the nickels and dimes out on the kitchen table when she suddenly got very angry and started shouting and crying for no reason.
    I thought to myself, “She’s going through the change.”
  • My girlfriend thinks that I’m a stalker. Well, she’s not exactly my girlfriend yet.
  • An Asian fellow has moved in next door. He has travelled the world, swum with sharks, wrestled bears and climbed the highest mountain. It came as no surprise to learn his name was Bindair Dundat!

 

*Apologies for any offence caused to entomologists, little old ladies, dwarves, bagpipers, large women, women of a ‘certain age,’ stalkees, and Asians. No harm was intended.

 

 

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