1. “Never trust a dog to watch your food.” Patrick, age 10
2. “When your dad is mad and asks you, ‘Do I look stupid?’ Don’t answer.” Hannah, age 9
3. “Never tell your mom her diet’s not working.” Michael, age 14
4. “Stay away from prunes.” Randy, age 9
5. “Don’t pull your dad’s finger when he tells you to.” Emily, age 10
6. “When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair.” Taylia, age 11
7. “Never allow your three-year-old brother in the same room as your school assignment.” Traci, age 14
8. “Don’t sneeze in front of mum when you’re eating crackers.” Mitchell, age 12
9. “Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a Tic-Tac.” Andrew, age 9
10. “Never hold a Dustbuster and a cat at the same time.” Kyoyo, age 9
11. “You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.” Armir, age 9
12. “Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.” Kellie, age 11
13. “If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.” Naomi, age 15
14. “Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick.” Lauren, age 9
15. “Don’t pick on your sister when she’s holding a baseball bat.” Joel, age 10
16. “When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she’s on the phone.” Alyesha, age 13
17. “Never try to baptize a cat. ” Eileen, age 8

I think my favourite is #13. It’s fiendishly clever!