Not one, but two funny stories from the good ol’ American South.

A man and his wife were driving their RV across Florida and were nearing a town called “Kissimmee.”

They noted the strange spelling and tried to figure how to pronounce it — KISS-a-me; kis-IM-me; kis-a-ME?

They grew more perplexed as they drove into the town. Since they were hungry, they pulled into a restaurant to get something to eat.

At the counter, the man said to the waitress, “My wife and I can’t seem to be able to figure out how to pronounce this place. Will you tell me where we are and say it very slowly so that I can understand?”

The woman looked at him and said, “Buuurrrgerrr Kiiiinnnng.”

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After Osama Bin Laden was killed, the next thing he knew, he was standing before the Pearly Gates. There he met George Washington.

“How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!” yelled Mr. Washington, as he slapped Osama in the face.

Patrick Henry then came up from behind. “You wanted to end the Americans’ liberty, so they gave you death!” And Henry punched Osama in the nose.

James Madison came up next, and said, “This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defense!” And he delivered a kick to Osama’s knee.

Osama took similar beatings from John Randolph, James Monroe, Robert E. Lee, Stonewall Jackson, and 64 other people who have the same love for liberty and America.

Just as Thomas Jefferson hurled him against the gates, Osama saw someone who was not American, and recognized him immediately.

“Mohammed!” Osama screamed. “Great Prophet, this is not what I was promised!”

Mohammed replied, “I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in Paradise. What did you think I said?”