Stay alert! At any time you may be faced with… IDIOT SIGHTINGS!

I said, ‘May I have large bills, please?’
She looked at me and said, ‘I’m sorry sir, all the bills are the same size.’
When I got up off the floor I explained it to her…
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
IDIOT SIGHTING
We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a ‘large enough’ motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, ‘Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.’ I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.
He said, ‘NO, it’s not.’ Four is larger than two.’
IDIOT SIGHTING
My daughter and I went through the McDonald’s take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, ‘You gave me too much money.’
She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said, ‘We’re sorry, but we can’t do that kind of thing.’
The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the clerks at McD’s.
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for ‘minimal lettuce.’
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.
In Kansas City.
IDIOT SIGHTING
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, ‘Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?’
To which I replied, ‘If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?’
He smiled knowingly and nodded, ‘That’s why we ask.’
Happened in Birmingham, Ala.
IDIOT SIGHTING
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with a coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, ‘What on earth are blind people doing driving?!’
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS.
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker who was leaving the company due to ‘downsizing,’ our manager commented cheerfully, ‘This is fun. We should do this more often.’
Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself
and for the sake of her life, couldn’t understand why her system would not turn on.
~~~
WATCH OUT! They walk among us! They VOTE and have babies.
The large bills don’t fit in standard size wallets, anyway.
Shoulda started with the driver’s side door. 😦
But he’s right: 4 *IS* bigger than 2!
I want the address of the McDs that gives back an extra dollar with change. Cheap meals are the best!
Mmmmm… Minimal lettuce is my favourite!
Wonder what time the train leaves?
Discrimination against sight impaired people is terrible. I’ve heard that there is a movement to remove the brail markings off the buttons on my bank’s drive-thru ATM.
Should I place my order for the next two lunches? Or just one?
~~~
I’ll keep my grapes and eyes peeled for more of these planet Earth inhabitants!
________________________________
LikeLiked by 2 people
ROTFL! I think you should start your own humour blog. I mean it!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks! 😀
________________________________
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for going back! (Every time you go back, it counts as another “view”! 😂😂😂)
LikeLike
What a hoot! Those were almost too much to believe.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know! So funny!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
😀 They are everywhere! Multiplying like locusts! Now I’m off to enjoy my dinner of maximum lettuce. 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
😂😂😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have met some of these people.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m sure we all have at some point. They’re everywhere!
LikeLike
This truly is idiocy. I reckon the world would be a less interesting place otherwise. That doesn’t include Trump. His is a kind of idiocy that went too far.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I heartily agree!!! ❤ See? 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person