For pun lovers! Good ones among the groaners, I swear! 😀

Q: Did you hear about the painter who was hospitalized?

A: Reports say it was due to too many strokes!

Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter?

A: I’d better not tell you, it might spread!

Q: How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?

A: Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?

Q: Music Teacher: What’s your favourite musical instrument?

A: Kid: The lunch bell!

Q: What did the triangle say to the circle?

A: You’re pointless!

Q: What do you call a ghost mom and dad?

A: Transparents! (extra meaning these days, right? 😉 )

Q: What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut?

A: A Barbercue!

Q: What do you call a person that chops up cereal?

A: A cereal killer! (This one really makes me grit my teeth!)

Q: What do you call a South American girl who is always in a hurry?

A: Urgent Tina! (Argggghhh!)

Q: What do you call two OVERWEIGHT people having a chat?

A: A heavy discussion!

Q: What kind of emotions do noses feel?

A: Nostalgia!

Q: What kind of shorts do clouds wear?

A: Thunderwear!

Q: What’s easy to get into but hard to get out of?

A: Trouble!

Q: Where do boats go to when they get sick?

A: The dock!

Q: Who cleans the bottom of the ocean?

A: A Mer-Maid!

Q: Why can’t a leopard hide?

A: Because he’s always spotted!

Q: Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?

A: Because then it would be a foot!

Q: Why did the barber win the race?

A: Because he took a short cut!

Q: Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?

A: He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!

Q: Why did the tomato turn red?

A: It saw the salad dressing!

Q: Why did the tree go to the dentist?

A: To get a root canal!

Q: Why don’t you see giraffes in elementary school?

A: Because they’re all in High School!

Q: Why was the maths book sad?

A: Because it had too many problems!

 

(Have your eyes rolled back down in their sockets yet? 😀 )