Laughter: The Universal Language – #159

These are difficult days indeed… Maybe a little humour is just what the doctor ordered!

Photo (cc) by Lolligag

This is a collection of funny one-liners, exactly as typed by medical secretaries:

  • Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital.
  • Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
  • On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.
  • The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
  • Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.
  • Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
  • While in ER, Eva was examined, x-rated and sent home.
  • Skin: somewhat pale, but present.
  • Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
  • The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of fuel and crashed.
  • Mrs. Evans slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
  • Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Jones, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
  • The patient refused autopsy.
  • The patient has no previous history of suicides.
  • She is numb from her toes down.
  • She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.
  • Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
  • Examination of genitalia has revealed that he is circus-sized.
  • Patient was found in bed with her power mower.
  • She has no rigours or shaking chills, but her husband states she was hot in bed last night.


Hope you keep well, everyone! 💗💗💗


12 thoughts on “Laughter: The Universal Language – #159

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