These are difficult days indeed… Maybe a little humour is just what the doctor ordered!

This is a collection of funny one-liners, exactly as typed by medical secretaries:

• Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital.
• Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
• On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.
• The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
• Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.
• Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
• While in ER, Eva was examined, x-rated and sent home.
• Skin: somewhat pale, but present.
• Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
• The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of fuel and crashed.
• Mrs. Evans slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
• Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Jones, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
• The patient refused autopsy.
• The patient has no previous history of suicides.
• She is numb from her toes down.
• She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.
• Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
• Examination of genitalia has revealed that he is circus-sized.
• Patient was found in bed with her power mower.
• She has no rigours or shaking chills, but her husband states she was hot in bed last night.

Hope you keep well, everyone! 💗💗💗